TÈMA CON VARIAZIÒNI

[Why is it that Poetry has never yet been subjected to that process of Dilution which has proved so advantageous to her sister-art Music?  The Diluter gives us first a few notes of some well-known Air, then a dozen bars of his own, then a few more notes of the Air, and so on alternately: thus saving the listener, if not from all risk of recognising the melody at all, at least from the too-exciting transports which it might produce in a more concentrated form.  The process is termed “setting” by Composers, and any one, that has ever experienced the emotion of being unexpectedly set down in a heap of mortar, will recognise the truthfulness of this happy phrase.

For truly, just as the genuine Epicure lingers lovingly over a morsel of supreme Venison—whose every fibre seems to murmur “Excelsior!”—yet swallows, ere returning to the toothsome dainty, great mouthfuls of oatmeal-porridge and winkles: and just as the perfect Connoisseur in Claret permits himself but one delicate sip, and then tosses off a pint or more of boarding-school beer: so also—

I never loved a dear Gazelle—
   Nor anything that cost me much:
High prices profit those who sell,
   But why should I be fond of such?

To glad me with his soft black eye
   My son comes trotting home from school;
He’s had a fight but can’t tell why—
   He always was a little fool!

But, when he came to know me well,
   He kicked me out, her testy Sire:
And when I stained my hair, that Belle
   Might note the change, and thus admire

And love me, it was sure to dye
   A muddy green or staring blue:
Whilst one might trace, with half an eye,
   The still triumphant carrot through.

A GAME OF FIVES

Five little girls, of Five, Four, Three, Two, One:
Rolling on the hearthrug, full of tricks and fun.

Five rosy girls, in years from Ten to Six:
Sitting down to lessons—no more time for tricks.

Five growing girls, from Fifteen to Eleven:
Music, Drawing, Languages, and food enough for seven!

Five winsome girls, from Twenty to Sixteen:
Each young man that calls, I say “Now tell me which you mean!”

Five dashing girls, the youngest Twenty-one:
But, if nobody proposes, what is there to be done?

Five showy girls—but Thirty is an age
When girls may be engaging, but they somehow don’t engage.

Five dressy girls, of Thirty-one or more:
So gracious to the shy young men they snubbed so much before!

* * * *

Five passé girls—Their age?  Well, never mind!
We jog along together, like the rest of human kind:
But the quondam “careless bachelor” begins to think he knows
The answer to that ancient problem “how the money goes”!

POETA FIT, NON NASCITUR

“How shall I be a poet?
   How shall I write in rhyme?
You told me once ‘the very wish
   Partook of the sublime.’
Then tell me how!  Don’t put me off
   With your ‘another time’!”

The old man smiled to see him,
   To hear his sudden sally;
He liked the lad to speak his mind
   Enthusiastically;
And thought “There’s no hum-drum in him,
   Nor any shilly-shally.”

“And would you be a poet
   Before you’ve been to school?
Ah, well!  I hardly thought you
   So absolute a fool.
First learn to be spasmodic—
   A very simple rule.

“For first you write a sentence,
   And then you chop it small;
Then mix the bits, and sort them out
   Just as they chance to fall:
The order of the phrases makes
   No difference at all.

“Then, if you’d be impressive,
   Remember what I say,
That abstract qualities begin
   With capitals alway:
The True, the Good, the Beautiful—
   Those are the things that pay!

“Next, when you are describing
   A shape, or sound, or tint;
Don’t state the matter plainly,
   But put it in a hint;
And learn to look at all things
   With a sort of mental squint.”

“For instance, if I wished, Sir,
   Of mutton-pies to tell,
Should I say ‘dreams of fleecy flocks
   Pent in a wheaten cell’?”
“Why, yes,” the old man said: “that phrase
   Would answer very well.

“Then fourthly, there are epithets
   That suit with any word—
As well as Harvey’s Reading Sauce
   With fish, or flesh, or bird—
Of these, ‘wild,’ ‘lonely,’ ‘weary,’ ‘strange,’
   Are much to be preferred.”

“And will it do, O will it do
   To take them in a lump—
As ‘the wild man went his weary way
   To a strange and lonely pump’?”
“Nay, nay!  You must not hastily
   To such conclusions jump.

“Such epithets, like pepper,
   Give zest to what you write;
And, if you strew them sparely,
   They whet the appetite:
But if you lay them on too thick,
   You spoil the matter quite!

“Last, as to the arrangement:
   Your reader, you should show him,
Must take what information he
   Can get, and look for no im-
mature disclosure of the drift
   And purpose of your poem.

“Therefore, to test his patience—
   How much he can endure—
Mention no places, names, or dates,
   And evermore be sure
Throughout the poem to be found
   Consistently obscure.

“First fix upon the limit
   To which it shall extend:
Then fill it up with ‘Padding’
   (Beg some of any friend):
Your great Sensation-stanza
   You place towards the end.”

“And what is a Sensation,
   Grandfather, tell me, pray?
I think I never heard the word
   So used before to-day:
Be kind enough to mention one
   ‘Exempli gratiâ.’”

And the old man, looking sadly
   Across the garden-lawn,
Where here and there a dew-drop
   Yet glittered in the dawn,
Said “Go to the Adelphi,
   And see the ‘Colleen Bawn.’

“The word is due to Boucicault—
   The theory is his,
Where Life becomes a Spasm,
   And History a Whiz:
If that is not Sensation,
   I don’t know what it is.

“Now try your hand, ere Fancy
   Have lost its present glow—”
“And then,” his grandson added,
   “We’ll publish it, you know:
Green cloth—gold-lettered at the back—
   In duodecimo!”

Then proudly smiled that old man
   To see the eager lad
Rush madly for his pen and ink
   And for his blotting-pad—
But, when he thought of publishing,
   His face grew stern and sad.